Random Rants

Have you “heard” me?

For several days, and nights now, I have been serenaded by a local psychotic mockingbird. At first I thought his singing was sweet; that is until it wouldn’t stop. His constant warbling during the day, and into the night, began to grate on my nerves and had me wishing for a Red Ryder BB Gun. Forget the whole “shoot your eye out” thing, I just wanted to shoot HIM!

One night over dinner, while sharing our meal with this deranged vocalist, I mentioned to my husband that I was pretty sure he was just needing to “get it on” and that was the reason for this nonstop singing. My husband, without missing a beat, exclaimed….

“Well, clearly he isn’t getting ANY, and you’d think by now, they all know where he is.”

Honestly I think any female, no matter the species, would find this behavior to be nothing more than that of a hoodlum, making him a waste of her time. But seeing that birds do not have the ability to access E-Harmony how would they know where the available singles are hiding. Where ARE all the female mocking birds anyway? I have a dandy of a specimen for them right here in my backyard! Come and get ’em girls!!!! Well, fast forward a week or two, and a small article appears in the local paper about the bird that sings all night. Oh yeah, did I mention the little bastard sings until 3am! I know. I have been witness to this miraculous event several nights. Anyway, the article stated that this is indeed a male mockingbird declaring his territory and looking for love. Although all adult male mockingbirds sing during the day, only a bachelor sings at night. Figures. However, he stops doing this as soon as he wins a mate. Why this lovelorn bird would think this nocturnal trill will succeed, who knows, but it must work every now and then or he wouldn’t waste his energy on it, right?

Needless to say he’s at it again as I compose this post. I can only hope and pray some female takes pity on him, decides she couldn’t possibly do any better, and tonight will be a quiet one. Wish him luck folks!

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